I guess I'm going to have to pick up the slack here because Tray and Sunday War have been taking proverbial naps on the job. So let me see what I can come up with on this very special "Sportkarma Jambalaya" edition.
Let's do a quick roundup of my favorite videos. I think that can keep us interested for a while. Mind you, these are not related in any way, they are just videos I have seen on YouTube and other places. Once in a blue moon, I actually get a good email forward with an interesting video. Here it is, in no particular order. My Top Ten Favorite Internet Videos. And by Ten, I mean Thirteen.
1. Puppy Falls asleep.
2. Evolution of dance.
3. British Idol makes me cry.
4. The media hates Black People.
5. God Bless you Willis McGahee
6. The play, starting at :53 seconds to go...
7. The play, Part Deux: Sportskarma is alive and well
8. He's headed for the corner...
9. 4th and 18
10. Spaced: The Guy Code
11. The Landlord
12. The best Punked ever?
13. This guy is my hero. (Literally and figuratively)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Mascots rise from the fire.
Hey everyone, Da Vinci here..... I am considering a “handle” and nickname makeover, if Tray and Sunday War concur… more on that later. For the moment, I think it’s only fitting we address something that really, should have been addressed a long time ago. I will make it my responsibility to report on this next year, before tournament time. In any case, we are at the Sweet Sixteen, the riff-raff has been eliminated, if you will, and here we are, one day away from seeing Doug Johnson have a mild heart attack on National Television, let’s not forget his already memorable work....
Thanks Gus, anywho...I got to thinking after a conversation with a certain loved one of mine who knows nothing or cares nothing about March Madness, if the Sweet Sixteen came down to the mascots, what are the possibilities?
Are there some Nostradamian prophesies that we are missing here? Let us explore the possibilities, from the top to the bottom. One thing that we have to take into consideration is all the misnomers out there for mascots, the Tar Heels have a "Ram", so I guess, I will have to defer to their name, after all if they wanted to be called the North Carolina Rams, then they should go for it, no mercy for fake mascots people, own up to your own ridiculous crappy mascot names, I'm looking at you, ou, Kent State,Cornell, and Western Kentucky. ANNNYYYYWHOOOO, here we go...
EAST -
North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Washington State Cougars.
This one is kind of tough for various reasons...If we go the high road, then those cougars would devour the Tar Heels and then spit out the taste of petroleum from their mouths, their mouths would run red with the blood of North Carolina!!! They would also chew down on the cartilage between those bones, mmmm! IF we go the low road, then North Carolina would stomp on Washington State's silly, WSC mascot thing. I couldn't find a single picture of a good cougar on their website, what a shame.
Washington State - 78 UNC 77 (UPSET SPECIAL!)
Louisville Cardinals vs. Tennessee Volunteers.
Assuming those Volunteers are armed to the teeth, which lets face it, if you're a Volunteer and don't have at least a rifle, you're f u c k e d... then the Vols would trump the Cards no prob... however, what is the deal with that mutt? Come on Tennessee are you playing the Aggie game on me? Don't tell me this dog is the General of your Army or some crazy shit like that... I will say that those Cardinals do have teeth inside those beaks, not very common in the bird world...I assume they won't go down without a fight, so it will be close... UTENN - 81 Louisville - 79
MIDWEST -
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Villanova Wildcats.
Wow, what an upset special this year will be, Wildcats devour the Gayhawks, I mean Jayhawks with no problems!! I guess I have issue with the Jayhawks prancing little birdie, it looks like it's in the middle of a dancing line. On the other hand, what a great logo Villanova! Thumbs up! A raging Wildcat defending the school logo. How original, maybe you guys should have gone with the Bulldogs, god knows there aren't any schools with that mascot. However........by default, Villanova 88 - Kansas 80
Wisconsin Badgers vs. Davidson Wildcats.
Very, very interesting. I already had picked Wisconsin in my bracket, so I might have to go and disappoint even myself on this one... Wildcats are a bit higher on the food chain than the Badgers, so it's a no brainer. Unless the Badgers can make some crazy dam to destroy the Wildcats and drown them... but unlikely... besides, look at that crazy look the Davidson Wildcat has. This guy looks like he did three tours of 'Nam and has worked in a Post Office for the last 30 plus years. About to snap...
Wisconsin 72 - Davidson 77
SOUTH-
Michigan State Spartans vs. Memphis Tigers
Not looking to good for all the Number One seeds so far! Spartans would have the edge over the Tigers, if they were quality Spartans, I assume some must have been killed by the mighty Tiger who feasted upon their meaty flesh... I will go against my own gut on this one and say that the Tiger would have the edge against the mediocre Spartan. But not if it was Maximus, besides I just saw 10,000 BC and that Sabretooth Tiger would have killed all those fools... anyway, see the movie...Oh God, please don't let me turn into Bill Simmons...Oh yeah, and Memphis with the whole tiger leaping out of its school's letter. nice... very original...
Memphis 70 - MSU 65
Stanford Trees vs. Texas Longhorns
In all fairness, I refuse to acknowledge that the "Stanford Cardinal" is a mascot, and thank you Stanford website for clearing this up for me.
"The Nickname: The nickname for Stanford is the Cardinal – in reference to one of the school colors (and is therefore in the singular). Stanford’s history with its nickname began on March 19, 1891 when Stanford beat Cal in the first Big Game. While Stanford did not have an official nickname, the day after the Big Game local newspapers picked up the "cardinal" theme and used it in the headlines.
In any case, the Longhorns would clearly stampede over a color or a tree whatever the case may be. Texas - 1,000,000 - Stanford 2 (Clearly I'm not biased on this)
WEST -
UCLA Bruins vs. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers
Both things not easily understood, however the Bruins (Very Large Brown Bears) have clearly the edge on this monstrousity of a mascot.
UCLA - 90 - WKU 72
Xavier Musketeers vs. West Virginia Mountaineers
Wow, probably the most interesting straight up mascot matchup ever, besides an all devil-demon final four, (refer to Tray on that one...) I'm going to jump on the Mountaineer bandwagon, simply because they will have the height advantage, meaning the Musketeers, simply with Swords will have to fight the Mountaineers, who I assume are on mountains. So in war, always have the higher position right?
Xavier - 74 - WVU 82
So there you have it, the next matchups,
whatever happens, rest assured next year we will have them all mapped out for you, next week, I will break down Elite Eight Action, then Final Four and of course the NCAA Championship. Peas out, DV for now.
Washington State vs. Tennessee
Villanova vs. Davidson
Memphis vs. Texas
UCLA vs. West Virgina
Thanks Gus, anywho...I got to thinking after a conversation with a certain loved one of mine who knows nothing or cares nothing about March Madness, if the Sweet Sixteen came down to the mascots, what are the possibilities?
Are there some Nostradamian prophesies that we are missing here? Let us explore the possibilities, from the top to the bottom. One thing that we have to take into consideration is all the misnomers out there for mascots, the Tar Heels have a "Ram", so I guess, I will have to defer to their name, after all if they wanted to be called the North Carolina Rams, then they should go for it, no mercy for fake mascots people, own up to your own ridiculous crappy mascot names, I'm looking at you, ou, Kent State,Cornell, and Western Kentucky. ANNNYYYYWHOOOO, here we go...
EAST -
North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Washington State Cougars.
This one is kind of tough for various reasons...If we go the high road, then those cougars would devour the Tar Heels and then spit out the taste of petroleum from their mouths, their mouths would run red with the blood of North Carolina!!! They would also chew down on the cartilage between those bones, mmmm! IF we go the low road, then North Carolina would stomp on Washington State's silly, WSC mascot thing. I couldn't find a single picture of a good cougar on their website, what a shame.
Washington State - 78 UNC 77 (UPSET SPECIAL!)
Louisville Cardinals vs. Tennessee Volunteers.
Assuming those Volunteers are armed to the teeth, which lets face it, if you're a Volunteer and don't have at least a rifle, you're f u c k e d... then the Vols would trump the Cards no prob... however, what is the deal with that mutt? Come on Tennessee are you playing the Aggie game on me? Don't tell me this dog is the General of your Army or some crazy shit like that... I will say that those Cardinals do have teeth inside those beaks, not very common in the bird world...I assume they won't go down without a fight, so it will be close... UTENN - 81 Louisville - 79
MIDWEST -
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Villanova Wildcats.
Wow, what an upset special this year will be, Wildcats devour the Gayhawks, I mean Jayhawks with no problems!! I guess I have issue with the Jayhawks prancing little birdie, it looks like it's in the middle of a dancing line. On the other hand, what a great logo Villanova! Thumbs up! A raging Wildcat defending the school logo. How original, maybe you guys should have gone with the Bulldogs, god knows there aren't any schools with that mascot. However........by default, Villanova 88 - Kansas 80
Wisconsin Badgers vs. Davidson Wildcats.
Very, very interesting. I already had picked Wisconsin in my bracket, so I might have to go and disappoint even myself on this one... Wildcats are a bit higher on the food chain than the Badgers, so it's a no brainer. Unless the Badgers can make some crazy dam to destroy the Wildcats and drown them... but unlikely... besides, look at that crazy look the Davidson Wildcat has. This guy looks like he did three tours of 'Nam and has worked in a Post Office for the last 30 plus years. About to snap...
Wisconsin 72 - Davidson 77
SOUTH-
Michigan State Spartans vs. Memphis Tigers
Not looking to good for all the Number One seeds so far! Spartans would have the edge over the Tigers, if they were quality Spartans, I assume some must have been killed by the mighty Tiger who feasted upon their meaty flesh... I will go against my own gut on this one and say that the Tiger would have the edge against the mediocre Spartan. But not if it was Maximus, besides I just saw 10,000 BC and that Sabretooth Tiger would have killed all those fools... anyway, see the movie...Oh God, please don't let me turn into Bill Simmons...Oh yeah, and Memphis with the whole tiger leaping out of its school's letter. nice... very original...
Memphis 70 - MSU 65
Stanford Trees vs. Texas Longhorns
In all fairness, I refuse to acknowledge that the "Stanford Cardinal" is a mascot, and thank you Stanford website for clearing this up for me.
"The Nickname: The nickname for Stanford is the Cardinal – in reference to one of the school colors (and is therefore in the singular). Stanford’s history with its nickname began on March 19, 1891 when Stanford beat Cal in the first Big Game. While Stanford did not have an official nickname, the day after the Big Game local newspapers picked up the "cardinal" theme and used it in the headlines.
In any case, the Longhorns would clearly stampede over a color or a tree whatever the case may be. Texas - 1,000,000 - Stanford 2 (Clearly I'm not biased on this)
WEST -
UCLA Bruins vs. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers
Both things not easily understood, however the Bruins (Very Large Brown Bears) have clearly the edge on this monstrousity of a mascot.
UCLA - 90 - WKU 72
Xavier Musketeers vs. West Virginia Mountaineers
Wow, probably the most interesting straight up mascot matchup ever, besides an all devil-demon final four, (refer to Tray on that one...) I'm going to jump on the Mountaineer bandwagon, simply because they will have the height advantage, meaning the Musketeers, simply with Swords will have to fight the Mountaineers, who I assume are on mountains. So in war, always have the higher position right?
Xavier - 74 - WVU 82
So there you have it, the next matchups,
whatever happens, rest assured next year we will have them all mapped out for you, next week, I will break down Elite Eight Action, then Final Four and of course the NCAA Championship. Peas out, DV for now.
Washington State vs. Tennessee
Villanova vs. Davidson
Memphis vs. Texas
UCLA vs. West Virgina
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sports Karma's Top 10 Valentine's Songs...EVER
Valentine's Day is Thursday, in case you haven't noticed. And frankly, we at Sports Karma have no idea how you couldn't know that Valentine's was near. Unless you are a monk (and you're not getting any anyway, so what would you care?), live under a rock (ditto) or you're a deaf-mute blinded Helen Keller clone, Valentine's Day is as inescapable as death, taxes and Chuck Norris.
Equally as ubiquitious are the crappy Valentine's Day songs. February 14 is the one day out of the year where radio stations drudge up the absolutely most saccharine-sweet love songs. It's the one day of the year where Air Supply gets to fill out a 1040 Form. It's the one day of the year where we are reminded that Taylor Dayne may have had the single worst singing voice in the history of pop music.
Well, Sports Karma can't help you if you're sleeping on the Couch of Shame this Valentine's Day b/c you forgot to buy your significant other a priceless, guilt-driven trinket fueled by a Hallmark Holiday. But we can help you pick the tunes. We at Sports Karma have come up w/ the Top 10 Sports Karma Valentine Songs...EVER. The rules are actually quite simple.
1. It has to have a little grit to it. It can't be so sweet that it could be mistaken for the auditory equivalent of Mountain Dew. There has to be a little bit of an edge to it. The guys on this list are/were a bunch of whiskey-guzzling, chain smoking, occasionally drug-induced, rebellious types. Excluded from this would include Michael Bolton, Kenny G, every boy band that has ever existed and the ever-romantic, Pat Boone. Debby Boone, by the way, isn't up for consideration either.
2. Hair metal power ballads are excluded b/c as gritty as most of those guys were, frankly, the power ballad just tries a little too hard to be sweet. Excluded based on this rule are "More Than Words" by Extreme, "To Be With You" by Mr. Big, "Love Of A Lifetime" by Firehouse, "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake and "Without You" by Motley Crue.
And most importantly...
3. It has to be sincere. The following songs truly do say "I love you" without having to hand over their wallet, their dignity and their testicles. They are earnest and heartfelt, and it never seems like they're overextending themselves. That, to me, is the biggest problem w/ the hair metal power ballads. It seems like a contrived effort at being sweet to their special lady. As a result, it comes off as disingenuous.
Alright, that's enough foreplay. It's time to light some candles, pour the Chilean red wine, put Leo DiCaprio's Romeo & Juliet on the plasma screen, rock some Godiva chocolate, and put the Top 10 Sports Karma Valentine's Songs...EVER on the stereo.
************************************************************************************
10. Dreams--Van Halen
It's like "Livin' On A Prayer," but w/ way better guitar solos. From the first Sammy Hagar
album, 5150, this is Van Halen's ode to the young couple with big dreams, trying to achieve the American dream. Oh, and Eddie's second solo is completely and totally bitchin'.
9. Calling You--Blue October
Romantic rock from one of Houston's greatest natives, not named Hakeem Olajuwon. This was Blue October's first major radio hit, and it's about the innocence and the unknowing of love. And this from a band that typically writes about how crappy life is, it's pretty remarkable how well they nail the beauty and poignancy of love.
8. I've Got You Under My Skin--Frank Sinatra
Bottom line is this: No one had more swagger, more cool and more class when singing a love song than Frank Sinatra. Period. I will not argue this point. In fact, I think I'll just shut up now before I say anything uncool that Frank would disapprove of.
7. We've Got Tonight--Bob Seger
Maybe the quietest song so far on the list, this is a beautiful song from one of the raspiest voices of rock, Detroit's Bob Seger. It's a tale of two lonely souls finding each other. Neither one want the night to end.
6. Angel--Aerosmith
I've long assumed this was a song about breaking up, not falling in love. But it's our damned list, and we'll do what we damned well want. This is before Aerosmith started writing power ballads permanently, and it's a touching song about getting back together with your special someone...before you make love to them in an elevator.
5. I Will--The Beatles (The DV and Sunday War Beatles pick)
My colleagues lean more to John and Paul, so this is their Beatles pick. Not that there's anything wrong w/ this White Album choice. At least they didn't go w/ "Helter Skelter" or "Why Don't We Do It In Road?"
4. Something--The Beatles (Tray's Beatles pick)
I've always been more of a George Harrison guy, hence why I went w/ this Abbey Road number. See, that's what love is. Sharing and compromise. But George is still cooler. One note, though. There's way too much Yoko in this clip. But I digress.
3. Thank You--Led Zeppelin
It's what every 80s power ballad wanted to be when it grew up. But very few came quite as close to greatness as this did.
2. Sweet Child O' Mine--Guns N' Roses
This would probably be number one on most lists. It's powerful yet restrained. Bold yet pleading. It's one of rock n' roll's greatest riffs, greatest solos and greatest endings. But Axl and Slash aren't #1. Wanna know why?
1. Walk The Line--Johnny Cash
Because they aren't Johnny Freakin' Cash, that's why. This is the song he wrote for June. This is the song that his biopic is based on. He's one of the greatest American singer-songwriters ever. God Bless Johnny Cash. And God Bless you and your special someone this Valentine's Day.
Equally as ubiquitious are the crappy Valentine's Day songs. February 14 is the one day out of the year where radio stations drudge up the absolutely most saccharine-sweet love songs. It's the one day of the year where Air Supply gets to fill out a 1040 Form. It's the one day of the year where we are reminded that Taylor Dayne may have had the single worst singing voice in the history of pop music.
Well, Sports Karma can't help you if you're sleeping on the Couch of Shame this Valentine's Day b/c you forgot to buy your significant other a priceless, guilt-driven trinket fueled by a Hallmark Holiday. But we can help you pick the tunes. We at Sports Karma have come up w/ the Top 10 Sports Karma Valentine Songs...EVER. The rules are actually quite simple.
1. It has to have a little grit to it. It can't be so sweet that it could be mistaken for the auditory equivalent of Mountain Dew. There has to be a little bit of an edge to it. The guys on this list are/were a bunch of whiskey-guzzling, chain smoking, occasionally drug-induced, rebellious types. Excluded from this would include Michael Bolton, Kenny G, every boy band that has ever existed and the ever-romantic, Pat Boone. Debby Boone, by the way, isn't up for consideration either.
2. Hair metal power ballads are excluded b/c as gritty as most of those guys were, frankly, the power ballad just tries a little too hard to be sweet. Excluded based on this rule are "More Than Words" by Extreme, "To Be With You" by Mr. Big, "Love Of A Lifetime" by Firehouse, "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake and "Without You" by Motley Crue.
And most importantly...
3. It has to be sincere. The following songs truly do say "I love you" without having to hand over their wallet, their dignity and their testicles. They are earnest and heartfelt, and it never seems like they're overextending themselves. That, to me, is the biggest problem w/ the hair metal power ballads. It seems like a contrived effort at being sweet to their special lady. As a result, it comes off as disingenuous.
Alright, that's enough foreplay. It's time to light some candles, pour the Chilean red wine, put Leo DiCaprio's Romeo & Juliet on the plasma screen, rock some Godiva chocolate, and put the Top 10 Sports Karma Valentine's Songs...EVER on the stereo.
************************************************************************************
10. Dreams--Van Halen
It's like "Livin' On A Prayer," but w/ way better guitar solos. From the first Sammy Hagar
album, 5150, this is Van Halen's ode to the young couple with big dreams, trying to achieve the American dream. Oh, and Eddie's second solo is completely and totally bitchin'.
9. Calling You--Blue October
Romantic rock from one of Houston's greatest natives, not named Hakeem Olajuwon. This was Blue October's first major radio hit, and it's about the innocence and the unknowing of love. And this from a band that typically writes about how crappy life is, it's pretty remarkable how well they nail the beauty and poignancy of love.
8. I've Got You Under My Skin--Frank Sinatra
Bottom line is this: No one had more swagger, more cool and more class when singing a love song than Frank Sinatra. Period. I will not argue this point. In fact, I think I'll just shut up now before I say anything uncool that Frank would disapprove of.
7. We've Got Tonight--Bob Seger
Maybe the quietest song so far on the list, this is a beautiful song from one of the raspiest voices of rock, Detroit's Bob Seger. It's a tale of two lonely souls finding each other. Neither one want the night to end.
6. Angel--Aerosmith
I've long assumed this was a song about breaking up, not falling in love. But it's our damned list, and we'll do what we damned well want. This is before Aerosmith started writing power ballads permanently, and it's a touching song about getting back together with your special someone...before you make love to them in an elevator.
5. I Will--The Beatles (The DV and Sunday War Beatles pick)
My colleagues lean more to John and Paul, so this is their Beatles pick. Not that there's anything wrong w/ this White Album choice. At least they didn't go w/ "Helter Skelter" or "Why Don't We Do It In Road?"
4. Something--The Beatles (Tray's Beatles pick)
I've always been more of a George Harrison guy, hence why I went w/ this Abbey Road number. See, that's what love is. Sharing and compromise. But George is still cooler. One note, though. There's way too much Yoko in this clip. But I digress.
3. Thank You--Led Zeppelin
It's what every 80s power ballad wanted to be when it grew up. But very few came quite as close to greatness as this did.
2. Sweet Child O' Mine--Guns N' Roses
This would probably be number one on most lists. It's powerful yet restrained. Bold yet pleading. It's one of rock n' roll's greatest riffs, greatest solos and greatest endings. But Axl and Slash aren't #1. Wanna know why?
1. Walk The Line--Johnny Cash
Because they aren't Johnny Freakin' Cash, that's why. This is the song he wrote for June. This is the song that his biopic is based on. He's one of the greatest American singer-songwriters ever. God Bless Johnny Cash. And God Bless you and your special someone this Valentine's Day.
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